Do Ya Feel Me?

As someone who studied English and teaches it, there is a tendency to want to correct the mistakes that I commonly hear in everyday conversation.  I usually don't to avoid being annoying.  However, here I offer a mini-lesson on the difference between sympathy and empathy, because I hear them misused a great deal.  

Empathy is identifying personally with what someone else may feel, which usually comes from a similar experience you have had yourself.  Dictionary.com defines it this way:


          "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another."


Sympathy, in contrast, is acknowledgment or recognition of another person's feelings. 

A literal example of this is:

          When a woman complains about the pain she has from wearing high-heels all day long.  If a man says, "Oh,         
          you should wear more comfortable shoes," he is sympathizing with her.  But if he has worn high-heels  
          himself all day, and personally understands the pain of wearing them, he can empathize with her.  

Another example is:

          That a man can sympathize with the pain of a woman giving birth, but he can never empathize with a 
          woman in that way, because men cannot give birth themselves. 

Usually we use sympathy and empathy in situations when someone is suffering emotional pain, which makes it a little more difficult to distinguish between empathy and sympathy.  But I hope my examples help you to make the distinction and to use the words more properly next time.  :)